PLAY WITH PUSSY

Yer so fuckng cute
I wanna take you home
first a hot bath then brush yer knots with a comb
I'll try not to crush you when yer in my bed
Love to hear that pussy purr on top of my head
I like to stroke it and pet it and tease it for hours
Feed it some meat and then watch it devour
Shine my shiny laser pointer all over the floor
Watch it go crazy chasing
Do it some more

I wanna play with pussy
All day long
Play with pussy
After I sing this song
Play with pussy
On top of my lap
Play with pussy then take a long nap

Lick a bowl of water on a hot afternoon
Cuddle on the couch watching stupid cartoons
Ya get up in my face when I'm eating a meal
Then ya freak out and cry in my automobile
When she gets on the floor
Laying on her back
I go to pet her head
But It's sneak attack
Bite my arm
Scratch my hand
Really gets me pissed
What the fuck did I do?
Just wanna love on you miss

I wanna play with pussy 
All day long 
Play with pussy 
After I sing this song 
Play with pussy 
Might look funny shaved
Bring the razor to her then watch her run away 

I love to hear that pussy purr
I love to watch that pussy squirm
I really love that sharp tooth bite
It feels alright but not too tight

"Ohhh, fucking love that pussy"

I wanna play with pussy 
All day long 
Play with pussy 
After I sing this song 
Play with pussy 
Watch her lick my finger
Get up in the box and change the kitty litter

I wanna play with pussy 
Oh I love it so much
Play with pussy 
She arched her back and her butt 
Play with pussy 
It's so furry and soft
Playing with putty really gets me off

 

 

YO PANTS

Strutting through the club on a Saturday night
Pretty little missies in their slinkys so tight
Dressing like they asking for a drink and a lay
I got a little chub when she looked my way

Move a little closer
Chat a little more
Buy another round of shots
I wanna bang this little whore

All I wanna do is to get with you
In the bathroom and gobble the goo
Get you drunk honey
Do the sideways dance
All I wanna do is tuh get in yo pants

Jager for me
Cherry bomb for the girl
What the hell happened cuz the night was a blur 
Woke the next morning with my head spinning round
Don't remember a thing and she's nowhere to be found

Didn't get her number
She didn't lock the door
Searching for the Advil
Did I screw that little whore?

All I wanna do is to get with you 
In the bathroom and gobble the goo 
Get you drunk honey 
Do the sideways dance 
All I wanna do is tuh get in yo pants
g-g-g-get in yo pants

"boop, you have one new voicemail"

"Oh man, my head is pounding.  I remember talking to this hot cougar.  We were slamming shot.
Nodding my head like I care.  Then we left in my car at last call.
That's the last thing I remember.  We must have stopped at Taco Bell cuz it was all over the couch.
What's the point in chasing tail if you're gonna black out?"

All I wanna do is to get with you 
In the bathroom and gobble the goo 
Get you drunk honey 
Do the sideways dance 
All I wanna do is tuh...

Didn't get a name
But she was cute and easy
Did it in the studio on top of the Peavey
I'll let you cum first if you give me a chance
All I wanna do is tuh get in yo pants

 

 

SCIENCE FANTASY

Demons and dragons
Kings and Queens
A tattoo on your eyelid
Strange and weird things
Witches and goblins
Snakes and eels
A wart on your cheekbone
Banana peels

It's all over the place
Up in your face
It's science fantasy

Wiccans and warlocks
Cardinals and priests
Pray to your God
But pick one first please
Movies and books
Netflix and TV
Potter and Twilight invade the big screen

It's all over the place
Up in your face
It's science fantasy

Box office sales and the best seller lists
Black magic metal you just can't resist
It's a phenomenon you just can't stop
Hey dork you're a nerd
What the fuck
Sandals and socks?

It's all over the place
Up in your face
Movie stars on trading cards
The uptown mall and convention hall
It's science fantasy

Spoiler alert
You're a dork
You're a nerd
You're a geek
Spread the word
Oh

"I'll see you in line opening night"

 

 

JERSEY GIRL

I met a girl
Hot and nasty
She had some liposuction and some rhinoplasty
She was tan as can be
Melonoma no doubt
Double D implant
Cologen
And a herpes breakout

Hey Jersey girl
You wanna get with me
I'm a Jersey guy and almost disease free
Hey Jersey girl
I'd like to tap that ass
What would you expect from a guy with no class?

I met her on a Sunday
Not in church
She was at an all day concert
Buying some merch
Her ass was sticking out just so much
It was so perfect and tight
I wanna eat off it for lunch

Hey Jersey girl
You wanna hang with me
Check me out
I bench four-hundred-and-three
Hey Jersey girl
You know you're looking fine
But you're kind of obnoxious after a bottle of wine

"Babe, you really can drink.  I never seen anybody slam down so many cranberry and vodkas.
Holy shit.  Give me your keys.  I'm not letting you drive.  Try not to get anything on my shirt.
This is a new jersey.  Nya-hey!"

I saw her on a Monday and my heart stood still
(da do run run run da do run run)
Somebody told me she was on the pill
"Yeah, that guy Ron.  Ya know, Da Do Ron?  Becuz he D-Does everybody."
I totally got to fuck her about a week later
We were in the other room from the babysitter
And then we did it in the elevator

Hey Jersey girl
I wanna get in your pants
Show you a good time if you give me a chance
Hey Jersey Girl
Don't ya ruin my shirt
I'm a Jersey guy and I love to flirt

Hey Jersey girl
I bet you're kinda loose
Spin it around
I wanna check out your caboose
Hey Jersey girl
I wanna be your lover
You really couldn't get any hotter
Are you as fine as your mother
Um, just how big is your brother?
Do I have to use a rubber?

"Shit, I lost her phone number."

 

 

HOT GIRL IN A SHIT CAR

Nice ass
soft lips
Big eyes
Big tits
Long legs
High heels
Tight dress and a serpentine squeal

C'mon baby
let me give you a lift
Hang on tight
You can work the stick shift

She's a hot girl in a shit car
Top shelf at a dive bar
She's a ghetto superstar
Hot girl in a shit car

Blonde hair
Black tips
Manicured finger tips
Tramps stamp
Purse pooch
Mini skirt and a shaved cooch

C'mom baby and swallow that pride
C'mon baby let me jack up you're ride

She's a hot girl in a shit car 
Huge rack
Incision scar
Street legal but lemon lawed
Hot girl in a shit car

Oh baby you're every man's dream
C'mon baby let me take one for the team 

She's a hot girl in a shit car 
Top shelf at a dive bar 
She's a ghetto superstar 
Hot girl in a shit car

Rusty coup
Racing stripe
Supermodel on my tailpipe
Undercarriage lube job
Hot girl in a shit car

 

 

LEAVE ME ALONE

You are the world to me
You are my light
I'll give you diamonds
I'll cuddle at night
You are the sunshine at the end of my day
You're so sexy in glssses just like Tina Fey

Little girl you know just what to do
You make my heart sing when you gobble the goo

You and me dry humping all night
You got me so excited
Can pass me some Sprite
Down and dirty
Nowhere left to go
I'm gonna love you till I cum
Then baby leave me alone

I'll never leave your side
I'll never stray
As long as you'll do me every night and every day
I'll always treat you good
There's one stake I claim
That after sex you get up and go a away

Baby doll you are the best
I'm ready again
Come here and get undressed

You and I getting down on the floor
It takes you a while
Sometimes it's a chore
I'm getting close
Almost time to blow my load
I'm gonna love you till I cum
Then baby leave me alone

(Pat Boone, Debbie Boone)

The time has come and so have I
To towel off and say goodbye
I DVR'd a show last night
I wanna watch
Not get in a fight
Please leave to room and give me peace
And hush your mouth to say the least
Just leave me be for an hour or two
Then make me a sandwich when your bitching is through

You and me it couldn't be so wrong
We've got nothing else in common
We both love my dong
The finale is close
The curtain call is drawn
I'm gonna love ya till I cum
Then baby leave me alone
Leave me alone
Leave me alone

Leave me alone

 

 

 

PLAY WITH KITTENS

(same as play with pussy but with kittens)